community focus and volunteerism

Q. & A. with Susie Graham: Co-Author of "When One Door Closes"
One early fall day in 1997, Alexandra (Alex) Graham came home from the mall complaining of pain in her knee. Three months later, at the age of 16, she was diagnosed with bone cancer. Even though she was fighting osteogenic sarcoma, the amputation of her leg, and partial loss of lung, this enigmatic teenager made a choice to define herself by who she is and the choices she makes, not by her illness. Over the course of a year, Alex did not get the miracle she wanted most...a cure. But her life and her selfless wish left the world a better place.

To continue her legacy, Alex’s parents, Bill and Susie Graham decided to write a powerful book - "When One Door Closes" - about Alex’s impact on others. In their own words, family, friends, medical experts, caregivers, and a rock star, tell us how Alex opened doors and made a difference in their lives. The book even includes testimonies from individuals who never met Alex, who share how their lives have taken on new meaning because of Alex’s wish and legacy.

Co-Author and mother of Alex, Susie Graham, was gracious enough to sit down and answer a few questions for VOICES:

What was Alex’s wish? How do you think the book is going to aid her living legacy?
Alex went on a bus trip with some friends of hers who were also patients at the Rose Cancer Center in Royal Oak, Michigan. She was incensed by the [people were treating] these children. Some of them were in wheelchairs, some had no hair, and some were still with their IV’s (with doctors and nurses supervising). On the ride home Alex told her friends what her Wish was going to be if she got one. It would be to make a Public Service Announcement (PSA) - So early one December morning, nine children including Alex made this powerful PSA.

You dedicated the book to the Make A Wish foundation and the American Cancer Society. How have these two organizations been helpful in "opening doors" for your daughter, your family, and others facing such circumstances?
Make a Wish came to our aid at a very difficult time. Her wish...took us away from the everyday trials of chemo, transfusions, and the very sheer terror that we were facing knowing that Alex had a life threatening illness. This special Wish has left a legacy of enormous proportions. It has changed so many people’s lives and left us, her family, with a real sense that her life made a difference. ACS came into our lives, unfortunately, after Alex died. If I knew then, what I know now, or so the saying goes. ACS gave our lives purpose. ACS let us, by organizing and chairing the first Relay in our town, help others. We had been through the valley and we were now able give something back. ACS gave us those tools. In additional to working on Relay, I have been an advocate for ACS. I attended a Relay in Washington D.C. and met with some of our congressmen. I know I made a difference. I thank ACS for giving both my husband and myself the ability to get back on our feet and to work toward finding real solutions to end this cancer epidemic and by doing so, honor our daughter’s memory.

Why was it important for you and your husband to write this book?
There were so many stories [to tell]. So many people came up to us and told us of a remarkable experience they had with Alex...and it keeps growing. Right after Alex died, a good friend approached us and wanted to start a bicycle team to help raise money for kids with life threatening illnesses. That bicycle team, Team Alex has now provided 100 wishes to children which is approximately $800,000. We also started a Relay in 1999 and we can boast of raising over two million dollars in the last ten years. There were so many stories of triumph associated with these two events.

But, most important, we wanted to continue Alex’s legacy. We wanted to let people know that you can change the world no matter how much time you spend on this earth. We wanted to let people know that you do not have to be defined by your illness. And, we wanted people to know, that life goes on when you honor the memory of a loved one.

How much of an impact is this one book having on the community and beyond?
Every person that reads the book feels strengthened by it. The book is set up in short stories. Each story has a life lesson and is followed by a quote of encouragement by a famous individual. It has meaning to both adults and teenagers. Several of the chapters were written by Alex’s friends who at the time of her death were 16 and 17 [years old]. They give a very honest reveal of how they were feeling and what they were going through at the time.

What do you hope will be the impact of "When One Door Closes"?
Our hope is that by telling Alex’s story it will uplift people experiencing life-threatening illnesses or other trauma. And, to show that even in the light of a great tragedy, there is much an individual can do to elevate their life. .

Is there anything you would like to add?
My husband and I often ask ourselves what makes Alex so special? Aren’t all children special? The answer that we always come up with is she inspired others by her actions to be the best they can be. She is the spark that ignites us all.

For more information on Alex, her life, her legacy, and her wish, visit www.AlexsWish.com.

Pictured: Alex Graham on the cover of "When One Door Closes" (top right); Bill and Susie Graham (bottom left).